If Only
by VeriAequeRedem
Summary: A certain memory haunts Raimundo. Oneshot. Deathfic.


Disclaimer: I do not and will not own Xiaolin Showdown.

If Only

'I can never be forgiven for what I did. Never.'

That single thought went through Raimundo's head everyday. Every minute, every second, every breath he took reminded him of what he had done. He caused it to happen. His friends told him constantly told him that it wasn't his fault, and deep down he knew that. But still, he blamed himself for what had happened. He knew, but all the while, it was his fault, because he had made a wrong choice at the wrong time.

He sat on top of Mt. Hong, just thinking about his mistake. It had been exactly one year since that cursed event had taken place.

'If only I could change things. If only I had done things differently. If only…' he would think.

But no matter what he thought, no matter what action he took, the past can never be changed. He stood up and using the Golden Tiger Claws, swung his arm and a portal opened before him. He jumped through and transported himself to the temple. He landed in the middle of the courtyard. So many memories flooded this place. So much had happened here.

He remembered the day that Master Fung had given them the day off. He and his friends, Clay, Omi and Kimiko decided to have a beach day. Clay and Omi made a pool and Kimiko started a barbecue. Later on, he took one of the Shen Gong Wu, The Sword of the Storm, and made a wave, so he could surf. From what he could recall, he "accidentally" made his wave crash into Kimiko whilst she was tanning. He was sure she was going to kill him right then and there, if Dojo hadn't come along to tell them a new Shen Gong Wu had activated.

He walked through the courtyard and into the main hall. Through there, he found an unoccupied bathroom. He locked the door behind him and walked over to the sink and looked in the mirror. His soul had changed so much in the past year, but his boyish looks hadn't really changed at all. He wished that he could've changed sooner. If only he did.

"FUCK!" he yelled as he smashed the mirror.

He pulled his had close to him as realized that he had broken glass stuck in his hand. He washed the blood off of his hand and tried to pull all of the glass out of his hand. He took some toilet paper and used it as a makeshift bandage. Blood seeped through the bandage.

'Shit.' he thought.

The blood reminded him of the blood that was on his hands. The blood that he had caused to be spilled.

'It's my fault.' he thought. 'It's all my fault.'

He began to cry.

'If only…'

_One year earlier…_

Master Fung had decided to give them the day off to relax. They were all supposed to lie around and have some peace and quiet. The only one who was doing as Master Fung told them to was Clay. Kimiko, Omi and Raimundo however, were running around yelling. Raimundo was chasing Omi and Kimiko around and yelling at them. They had decided to steal Raimundo's pendant and play "Keep Away." Naturally, Raimundo was pretty pissed off that they did this. But he also didn't mind, he was having fun.

"God dammit, give it back!" Raimundo shouted to Omi, who was currently the one holding onto the pendant.

"But that is not the point of the game, is it?" Omi asked.

Raimundo gave him a gentle but annoyed look. Omi was still so innocent. He was wise beyond his years sometimes, and even a great dragon, but he was still a kid. That is what Raimundo liked about him most. He was innocent, just like a child.

He kept running after Omi, trying to catch him so he could get back his pendant. Just as Raimundo was about to catch him, Omi tossed the pendant to Kimiko. Raimundo growled in frustration and chased after Kimiko.

"Come and get it Rai!" Kimiko yelled.

He ran after her. He chased her into the courtyard and finally caught her around the waist.

"Give it back!" he said.

"Never." she said mischievously.

"Okay then, you leave me no choice." he said evilly.

He began to tickle her. She tried to contain her laughter. But he was too good a tickler. But she still wouldn't let go of the pendant. He stopped a few seconds to give her some air.

"Mercy!" she wheezed.

"Will you give back my pendant?" he asked.

"Never!" she said.

"Well then, no mercy!"

Suddenly, she grabbed his arm and flipped him over her shoulder. He landed on his back pretty hard. He looked at her. She was standing over him with a big grin on her face. Her ice blue eyes were looking at him.

'Her eyes are so beautiful. What the hell? Did I just think that.? Why would I think that?' he thought. "What was that for?"

"That was for tickling me! But if you're nice, I'll help you up. And give back your pendant." she said.

He looked into her eyes again. She was telling the truth. He extended his hand out to her, and she helped him up.

"Bend down a little." she said.

She took the chain of his pendant in her hands and put the pendant back on him. For a second, her arms were wrapped around him in a hug. He got a feeling in his stomach, and he liked it. For that second, he knew that this was right. He knew that this was good.

'I wish this could last for a while.' he thought.

But nothing lasts forever. She pulled away and looked at him for a while.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" she asked.

"Nothing." he said.

She gave him a funny look and muttered whatever and began to walk away. He turned to watch her walk away. But as he was turning however, he saw something out of the corner of his eye. He turned to see the one person who was more annoying than Omi, Jack Spicer. Raimundo and Kimiko assumed defensive positions.

"What the hell you want, Spicer?" Raimundo asked.

"What else could I want? I want your Wu, now hand it over!" Jack yelled.

"You couldn't take it from us even if it was right in front of you!" Kimiko said.

"Very well. Jack-bots, attack! " Jack yelled.

The robots swarmed around them both and began their assault. The two monks fought the robots with more ferocity than ever, simply because Omi and Clay were on the other side of the temple. The fought and fought, eventually ending up a good distance from each other.

"Rai! Help!" Kimiko yelled.

Raimundo heard her, but was fighting so many robots at once that he couldn't keep up. They paused for a second, giving him time to think.

'I could jump over them and get Kimiko.' he thought. 'Or I could just keep fighting them to get to her..'

After thinking for another second, he decided to fight. He was just about to punch a robot when he was dog piled by all of the other robots. Two of them grabbed him and held him. He struggled but couldn't escape. He looked around to see Kimiko also being held by the robots. Jack was walking towards her. He was holding something in his hand, but he couldn't see what it was.

"Ah, Kimiko, this is for rejecting my offer." Jack said.

Raimundo looked to see that Jack was holding a pistol. He pointed it at Kimiko and pulled the trigger. She fell limp and the robots dropped her to the ground.

Raimundo looked in shock.

'No.'

Kimiko was bleeding out of her wound profusely, and he couldn't stop it. Not like this. He somehow gained the strength to free himself from the robots and ran over to Kimiko. Omi and Clay had finally shown up and were fighting some robots. So he was alone with her. He picked up her head gently and pressed one of his hands on her wound, which was in her abdomen, trying to stop the bleeding.

"Kimiko, listen to me." Raimundo said. "You need to hang on. Please hang on."

"Rai?" she whispered.

He looked at her with great sadness. He was watching her, praying to whatever deity would listen to him to save her. Her breathing was ragged and she had lost a lot of blood.

"Rai?" she whispered.

"I'm right here, Kimi." he said.

"I'm cold." she whispered.

Her breathing slowed.

"Kimi, hold on. Please." he begged.

Her breathing stopped.

"Kimiko?" he whispered.

Silence.

"No. No. No no no no no." he trailed off.

He began to cry over her body. He held her close to him, crying, praying that his tears would bring her back. All to no avail. He carefully placed her down onto the ground and pulled himself up. He looked over at Jack with pure loathing. Anger was boiling inside him. He was losing control and his fists were shaking at his sides. He was covered in Kimiko's blood. He wanted Jack's.

Jack was looking fearful of what was happening. Raimundo ran at Jack and tackled him. Raimundo began to punch him repeatedly.

"You sick fuck! Sick fuck!" Raimundo repeated over and over.

Raimundo kept punching him. Blood was pouring all over Jack and himself, but he didn't care. Because of him, Kimiko would never laugh, never cry, never see all of the wonders of the world. She would never get angry, she would never joke or call her friends. She was never coming back.

After what seemed like a millennia, Raimundo stopped punching Jack. Jack's face was disfigured and he was not breathing. Raimundo had killed Jack Spicer.

_Present Day…_

After Raimundo was done crying, he moved from the bathroom into the room where the monks slept. Kimiko's stuff had not been moved, even after all this time. He moved slowly to the spot where Kimiko's stuff was. He said a silent prayer for forgiveness and then punched a nearby wall. He then started to cry again. He cried in anguish, knowing that his best friend was gone forever. His blood was on her hands. It was all his fault.

'If only I could have done things differently.'

If only.

_Fin_

A/N-Reviewers are welcome. Oh and please, don't just tell me that this story is good, a little criticism is good too. Thanks.


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